A few months ago, I had the pleasure of reviewing the Kiwi film Mt Zion. It was a pleasure for two reasons:
1) It’s a genuinely great film, let alone a great Maori film.
2) I was incredibly relieved that it didn’t suck.
Being a New Zealand-based movie reviewer dude, one of my greatest fears is reviewing a local Kiwi film that doesn’t work for me or simply isn’t that good. When I’m forced to pass judgement on such a film, it’s like the pride of the nation is resting on my shoulders. We all shout “Support New Zealand films!” like a battlecry, and rightfully we should. But when I’m put in a position where I have to say “this film is just not good,” it is often misinterpreted as “I’m a total dumbarse who thinks Kiwi films are shit,” thus, seeming like I don’t support our industry.
But really, it’s the total opposite. I want Kiwi films to be as good as I know they can be, so if I feel one of our films is lacking in quality, I’m compelled to point out the ways in which it can be vastly improved. Flicks as a whole has been pretty good at not letting out local films get away with a three star certificate of participation (Love Birds, The Devil’s Rock, Sione’s 2: Unfinished Business).
The same goes for Two Little Boys. I gave it a sad-face two stars, saying it “beats down any sense of fun and wit it could potentially have with its hard-to-like characters and adolescent dialogue” (you can read the full review here). It wasn’t easy writing that thing and very precise words were used to ease the blow, going through an editorial gang-bang so intense that it’s no longer able to look its mother in the eye.
This isn’t to say everyone thought Two Little Boys was an average movie – it took home a couple of NZ Film Awards as well as the Flicks’ People’s Choice Award for Best NZ Film.
Movie reviews are subjective after all (humour even more so), and I’m simply of the adamant opinion that the film is of little merit. Others felt the same chuckle-less disappointment I did.
I felt my heavy criticisms of the film were laid out in a fair and precise manner while alluding numerous times how I wanted this film to be good. Nevertheless, the expected backlash was received:
“These reviewers expected a masterpiece.”
“Not sure what these guys are on about.”
“This seems a bit whiny.”
And,
There’s always the alternative: I could give a mediocre Kiwi flick a cheap three stars for no other reason than to pat it on the head and say “the main thing is that you had fun”. This way, I’d dodge the aforementioned feedback and save me nights alone crying myself to sleep. But most people aren’t dumb. They’d catch on pretty quickly if we were being charitable to all New Zealand films, especially the shit ones (yes, they do exist). It’d be a quick way to lose my critical credibility (for whatever that’s worth), so when a genuinely great Kiwi flick comes along, my genuine praise would hold no strength. As far as I’m concerned, not being able to champion the local films that deserve it is far worse than some dude on the internet who thinks I’m a pretentious douchebag.
And that’s what sucks about reviewing Kiwi movies. If you negatively review a bad Kiwi film, people will hate you. If you praise every Kiwi film, people won’t trust you. You simply can’t win. The moment I publish a negative review for a local film, this is the only situation that occurs:
