Last week, I was lucky enough to get to see Swedish pop star Robyn live at the Powerstation. I really like Robyn’s music, but it’s not just her songs that float my metaphorical boat – it’s also the fact that she has some of the most mesmerising, wacked out dance moves you’ll ever see. It’s like she’s taken one too many Body Rock classes at Les Mills and has decided to bring those moves to the dancefloor.
So, as I was rehearsing my Robyn-esque dance moves in my bedroom later that evening (AS YOU DO, RIGHT), I got to thinking of all the other dancers on film that have left me speechless with their skilled, strange or sick dance moves. These are some of them.
Jean Claude van Damme “Kickboxer” (1989)
So, if you read this blog you would already know that I freakin’ loved The Expendables 2. So much so, that I paid actual real life money to see it for a second time and enjoyed it just as much. I also may or may not have gone on a serious Jean Claude van Damme movie binge that week as well. During my JCVD marathon, I came across this scene from Kickboxer for the first time. How have I not seen this before.
Jean Claude’s moves makes you doubt everything you know about movement. His dancing makes you feel as though you’ve been doing it wrong for your whole life, and that good dancing actually involves a lot of out of time clapping and hip gyration, but then you remember that Jean Claude is straight up crazy so you stop trying to copy his dance moves in your lounge, but it’s too late because you forgot to close the curtains and the neighbours have already seen you (based on a true story).
Coolness: Either 2/10 or 9/10, I haven’t quite decided.
Difficulty: 4?/10
Signature move: The moment when Jean Claude does the splits (classic Jean Claude move) and then stands up and does a little butt wiggle is just so weird/strangely sexual.
Pro tips: Ignore the music, dance to the beat of your own heart.
Molly Ringwald in “The Breakfast Club” (1985)
I first saw The Breakfast Club when I was 13, and from then on at every party I attended during my high school years (two parties – three if you count my Nan’s 70th) I would attempt what I like to call The Molly. Did this win me any friends or romantic suitors? No. Did my sick moves get me invited to any more parties? Clearly not. I’ve forgotten what point I was trying to make.
The male equivalent of The Molly is of course The Emilio, which is where you roid rage your way through a library pumping your fists while chanting “BOOKS ARE LAME! MY DAD DOESN’T LOVE ME!” and then inexplicably shatter a glass door by yelling heaps.
Coolness: 8/10
Difficulty: 6/10
Signature move: The hair flick. Man, she has good hair. I want that hair.
Pro tips: Make sure your leg kick and hair flick go the opposite way to each other, otherwise you sort of end up dancing like Elaine. Avoid dancing like Elaine at all costs.
Fred Astaire in “Holiday Inn” (1942)
(Click the picture to get to the video, apparently YouTube really doesn’t like embedding videos from this movie)
I was first introduced to Holiday Inn when I was about 14 through Chris Knox’s fantastic Friday late night feature The Vault – a show that first first exposed to Hitchcock, Marx Brothers and some of the not so famous non-MGM musicals like this one.
Sure, there’s the occasional bout of casual racism (see: Abraham Lincoln’s birthday scene) but on the whole it’s a highly enjoyable romp that showcases the singing talents of Bing and the incredible dancing from ol’ Fred. What I like most about Astaire’s dancing is that he makes it look so damn easy – some may say too easy, as he makes everyone else in the world look like a total dingus when they try to dance.
FUN FACT – This film was the inspiration behind the hit song ‘Holiday Inn’ by rap artist Chingy, who sights Fred Astaire and Bing Crosby as some of his biggest influences. I’m totally kidding.
Coolness:10/10
Difficulty: 1000/10
Signature move: Fireworks. The risk of seriously burning yourself adds a certain sexy danger.
Pro tips: Being Fred Astaire is probably the best way to be able to dance like Fred Astaire.
Joan Crawford in “Dance, Fools, Dance” (1931)
We all know and love Joan Crawford for being the bat-shit crazy, Pepsi-Cola-owning, wire coat hanger-hating mother of the year. What some may not know is that she began her showbiz career as a chorus girl, dancing on Broadway when she was just a teen.
Joan is no Eleanor Powell or Ann Miller, and found success in Hollywood as an actress rather than a singer or dancer, but she has the crazy style of dancing that’s just really engrossing. She keeps her knees bent, hips low, shoulders hunched and stamps her feet around while her arms sort of flail about with no rhyme or reason to them. It’s this sort of unrehearsed look that makes her seem like she’s just another gal at a party, groovin’ out on the slight buzz she’s on. I want to be that girl.
Coolness: 7/10
Difficulty: 5/10
Signature move: Let your elbows feel the way. Hopefully not into another partygoer’s face.
Pro tips: If your feet aren’t bleeding by the end, THEN YOU’RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT. Yeah, I just went Gene Kelly on your ass.
Napoleon Dynamite in “Napoleon Dynamite”
No list about mesmerising dance scenes in movies would be complete without this performance. This dance marked a paradigm shift in social dancing at the time – Napoleon made it cool for a short time to sort of just feel the vibes, and pull off the most ambitious moves with no actual skill.
This is such a great scene because we don’t know why it even exists, all we know is that this guy is pulling off some of the sickest moves we’ve ever seen and we LIKE IT.
Coolness: Any dude jammin’ out to Jamiroquai in moon boots has to get 10/10.
Difficulty: 12/10. It’s very hard to fake uncoordination.
Signature move: This.
Pro tips: Do not choreograph. Let the music flow through you. Apply chapstick liberally beforehand.
Obviously I’ve only scratched the surface here, let me know in the comments below what dance scenes you’ve been mesmerised by! Link me to your dancers!
