Why the Oscars nominations list is just so fantastic [Updated]

Close your eyes and conjure a ghostly narwhal lingering in the empty sea, softly crying ‘snuuuuuuuuuub’ in the distance. Now add another ghostly narwhal joining fins with the first narwhal as they both hum ‘snuuuuuuuuuub’. Picture that duo turning into a quartet, then a choir, then to Band Aid, ad infinitum. That’s the sound I imagine permeates throughout the internet whenever the Academy lists its Oscar nominations.

But I, for one, am not a part of this pod of disgruntled movie bloggers – I wholeheartedly respect and admire the Academy’s 2014 nominations list. It made me particularly happy to see David O’Russell loading the Best Acting bases once again with American Hustle, editors Alfonso Cuarón and Mark Sanger receiving nods for those three excellent cuts they did on Gravity and the idea of seeing the Oscars logo appear on the DVD cover of a Jackass film.

We all knew Captain Phillips would get some well-earned Oscar love, and it did my heart good to see the Academy not ignoring any outstanding performances by nominating Barkhad Abdi for Best Supporting Actor. His breakout role as the head Somali pirate hit the fine balanced between menace and sympathy – a perfect complementary piece of acting with the equally superb Tom Hanks in Academy Award-worthy form.

Well… okay… the Academy didn’t think Hanks’ performance was worthy of a Best Lead Actor nom…

Even though it was his greatest performance in over a decade…

And that he shook audiences to tears in the film’s final moments in a piece of impromptu acting that wasn’t even in the script…

But hey, I’m glad my boy Matthew McConaughey is finally getting Oscar recognition. After years of being straight-up stupendous in Bernie, Killer Joe, Magic Mike and Mud, the Academy has saluted him for Dallas Buyers Club (which hits our cinemas mid-February). He might just get that trophy too, at the price of snatching it away from his Wolf of Wall Street co-star Leonardo Dicaprio. Poor Leo… he probably won’t get an Oscar until he leads an Orson Welles bio-epic (it’ll happen).

Mads-nificent Mikkelsen wasn’t nominated for his astonishing performance in The Hunt, but I’m just happy to see that film in the Best Foreign Language category. Having originally thought it was snubbed last year (I’m a little fuzzy on the Oscar rules and regulations), I’m glad to see it on the Top 5 podium.

Ernest and Célestine is another fantastic foreign film that I took great delight in seeing pegged for Best Animated Feature. It’s a watercolour charmer that stands strongly beside the other nominees: sure-winner Frozen, Hayao Miazaki’s The Wind Rises, my personal fave The Croods and Pixar’s improved prequel Monsters University. Though there are no critically-agreed masterpieces in the bunch, it’s still a quality year for the medium.

So don’t be a wailing snub whale; the Oscars have done a fantastic job with its extensive and expertly-judged list of 2013 cinema greats. Well done, Academy, you’re fantastic!

[UPDATE]

Hold the fucking phone; Monsters University WASN’T nominated for Best Animated film!? The Academy actually declined their darling Pixar after their ass-kissing win for Brave last year!? Monsters U was a better film than last year’s Oscar-winner, and it somehow got swept aside.

But what irks me even more is that they’re giving the spotlight to Despicable Me 2, the fluff-themed Saturday morning cartoon episode stretched out to a feature-length film. I don’t care how much your grandkids like those giggling yellow tumours – THE FILM ISN’T OSCAR-WORTHY!

And how the hell does a bullshit film like Alone Yet Not Alone get noticed for anything? Best Original Song, oh whoopdi-shit. I’d be more lenient to this nomination if the movie looked almost decent (which it doesn’t) or if the song was in some way memorable (which it isn’t). Hell, The Wolf of Wall Street had a better original song than that.