Fantasy Island

"There's a degree of strain and tedium in the effort to convince us the story ultimately makes sense."

"At least there are some solid unintentional laughs sprinkled among the failed stabs at intentional ones."

"By the time the movie ended, I had a fantasy of my own: A full refund."

"The coup de grace is so ludicrous that the whole thing falls in on itself, pulling whatever vestiges of our emotional investment remain down with it."

"(The) seed of potential... sails away on a tide of numbing stupidity."

"Painfully dull..."

"Jeff Wadlow... seems convinced that if he just keeps throwing more inanities into the mix... no one will notice how utterly boring the whole thing truly is."

"Contrived and loony..."

"A wooden ensemble, paper-thin frights and dull TV-special looks don’t help matters."

"No matter how low your expectations, it’s hard to forgive a movie about boundless imagination for not having a single new idea."

"A half-cocked horror movie..."

"Fantasy Island is distinctly sub-par filmmaking full of cliches and lacking in real entertainment value."

"In between glances at their watch, a viewer may find themselves pondering why this motion picture exists."

"By its end, Fantasy Island is just another cautionary tale against remakes."

"If crimes against cinema merited prosecution, Blumhouse's Fantasy Island would go directly to death row. The only scary thing about this wussified, fright-free horrorshow is that it wants to spawn sequels. Stop it before it kills again."

"[A]lthough by the end, as certain characters are brought back to life and others are turned into "black-eyed zombies," audiences will most likely be wishing they'd bought a ticket to another movie."

"Just wretchedly unenjoyable."

"This, really, is what happens when you take all the wrong lessons out of film school."

"If this were the feature-length pilot episode for some cheap reboot on a streaming service - which is what it feels like - a generous viewer might half-heartedly agree to tune in next week and see if things get more interesting."

"The movie can only be classified as something truly terrible, escaping any other categorisation that would make it resemble an actual film."

"As in Truth or Dare, there’s a degree of strain and tedium in the effort to convince us the story ultimately makes sense."