Disclaimer: buy your Grandmother’s Christmas gift before reading.
With The Iron Lady peeking over the film horizon (December 26, to be precise), we at Flicks instinctively started to recall other women of a mature stature that could induce fear as easily as ol’ Maggie Thatcher (a lady of force equal to a concentrated supernova). Don’t be fooled by their peaceful smiles or otherworldly cookie-baking abilities; these wrinkled women will devour your courage faster than a cup of earl grey.
10. Witch – Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Forget the fact that she’d cut out your heart for the sake of vanity. The very presence of the Queen’s elderly alter-ego is its own kind of freakish, with her piercing pupils, Grim Reaper gown and Disney’s masterfully menacing animation.
9. Barbara Covett – Notes on a Scandal
She may not be a physical threat, but Barbara’s more intimidating than a bull in a red-painted china shop. If you leave any piece of evidence behind (a note perhaps?) regarding any event she morally disagrees with (a scandal maybe?), she’ll gut you like salmon.
8. Galadriel – The Lord of the Rings
She may have that unfair Elfin youthfulness but, make no mistake, the Noldorin princess is oooooooooold. The moment her and Frodo have a quiet moment to discuss the all-ruling ring, she throws a colossal freak-out that’ll forever plague the halfling’s nightmares.
7. Sylvia Ganush – Drag Me To Hell
Being an old senile gypsy makes one creepy by default, but what makes Sylvia Ganush stand out in the shadows of your car’s back seat is her way of blowing a grudge way out of proportion. You evict her from her house, she’ll send you to hell. For eternity.
6. Dolores Umbridge – Harry Potter series
Combining the cruel dictatorship of Eva Braun with the personality of a crazy cat lady, Dolores Umbridge is as fearsome as she is detestable. You’d stupefy her in the face if you weren’t so afraid of having a novel etched into your forearm.
5. Gladys Foster – Legion
The movie may’ve been a bit crap, but that doesn’t take away from the creepiness of Gladys Foster’s slight role. A tuning fork rattles in everyone’s mind whenever a sweet elderly lady blurts out dirty expletives. That fork then snaps when she contorts her body and crawls on the ceiling.
4. Mrs. Voorhees – Friday the 13th
It wasn’t Jason that killed those horny clueless teens in the first Friday the 13th, but his manic mother. Her murderous spree isn’t the only thing that makes her scary. It’s also her ability to raise a son who becomes just as murderous (and defies hell, and goes to space).
3. Old woman in the bathtub – The Shining
In the bathroom of the supernatural house you decided to babysit, there is a gorgeous woman beckoning you to join her, vacant of any clothing. A few steps closer. Bodies almost touching. Then boom, she turns into an old cackling bag of sagging flesh, giving chase. That’s universally terrifying.
2. Creature – (REC)
What some consider one of the most haunting scenes of any movie, the hammer-wielding creature from [REC] makes its entry in the last ten minutes. What makes ‘old lady’ so damn terrifying is how disturbingly inhuman she is, with night vision as the only means to comprehend her.
1. “Mother” – Psycho
She never actually made an appearance in Hitchcock’s archetypal slasher (unless you count her shrivelled corpse). However, the control she had over her son is so horrifying that her mentality lived on through Norman. Imagining what she must’ve been like when alive is truly frightening.
