“Worst comic book film ever made.” It takes a hell of a lot to earn that title. For Joel Schumacher’s Batman and Robin, it was earned by butchering a popular superhero license, embarrassing a massive film franchise and by simply being a bad film.
To discover why it’s a bad film is as easy as watching it. There are just so many things it does so wrong: the removal of Tim Burton, the unfaithful representation of Bane, the futuristic neon-rave art direction. However, we’ve taken the liberty of isolating the five elements that predominantly form this kaleidoscope of crap.
1. Sloppiness
Let’s get the technicals out of the way first. There are a number of aspects that were clearly rushed during post-production: disjointed editing, horrible use of stock sound effects, the dreaded forward-reverse shot technique (i.e. Robin jumping out of Ivy’s pond only to be dragged/reversed back in).
These faults would not be tolerated in low-budget indie offerings. But for a huge Hollywood production studio to commit these violations is unforgivable. It makes a $125,000,000 film look cheap.
Click here to witness some fantastic green-screening.
2. The Script
The dialog is almost one of those cases where it’s so bad it’s good. Almost. Drawing puns from the encyclopaedia of dad jokes, your nervous giggle quickly turns into a grown as every line challenges your levels of tolerance. Few survive unscathed. It was only Schwarzenegger, master of the one-liners, who could pull it off to some decent effect.
Where Batman Forever welcomed the implementation of cheesy quotes (Holy rusted metal, Batman!), Batman and Robin amplified it with a monstrous amount of corn. This video should be all the proof you need.
3. The Costume Design
Somewhere in some point in time, there must have been a discussion about the appeal of bat-nipples on a batman costume. During this fixed point in time, a number of ‘experts’ approved the idea of implementing it in a feature-length Batman movie. Given all the millions upon trillions of possible universes there are in time and space, the bat-nipple costume resides in our cosmos.
Ivy sported green aerobic spandex, Bane looked like a ‘roided gimp and the street thugs dressed up ready for a Mardi Gras acid trip parade. However, in all fairness, Arnie’s Mr. Freeze outfit is a little rad (in an Action Man kind of way).
4. The Acting
It’s actually quite a rare thing to have an ensemble cast that both overact and underwhelm in their performances. But it’s not the ones that ham it up that are the problem (they were just going with Schumacher’s direction). It’s the lazy, tired performances that drag out the film. The most obvious actor in this regard was Clooney, who looked like he did not want to be there at all (and he probably didn’t).
The movie could also be blamed for a number of career comas. It took Thurman six years and a Tarantino for her to come back in the spotlight (Kill Bill). Chris O’Donnell was not as fortunate, rarely going beyond TV cameos. Luckily, NCIS: LA gave him back some sort of relevance. However, it was Alicia Silverstone, the cute up-and-coming 20-year-old star from Clueless, that fell in the deep end. Her filmography after Batman and Robin include Excess Baggage, Love’s Labour’s Lost and Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed. Yeah, you haven’t seen any of those have you?
5. The Bat-Credit Card
This one scene sums up the quality of Batman and Robin. Violating all four aforementioned fallacies, this moment includes a sloppy use of sound effects (Cha-ching!), the line “Never leave the cave without it,” and, if you pause at the right time, you can see the moment where Clooney dies a little inside.
Even the tiny details are laughable (the expiry date is “FOREVER”). This one scene has grown in infamy, mocked and loathed by both comic-geeks and the movie-going public. It’s an icon to how a film franchise can make the wrong turn and fall straight into a ditch. It’s both amazing and fascinating. Given a chance, you bet we’d buy ourselves a replica Bat-Credit Card. It’s just that unique.
