The Kids in the Hall: Season 5

Fight-Picking Guy - This Close (SD)(5): guy in bar who... More wants to get in a fight • Weston & Virgil in 1972 (SMB)(5): Weston & Virgil at school in 1972 (Weston Esterhazy, Virgil) • Power-Mad after Promotion (KDM)(5): mail clerk gets promoted and goes power-mad • Sick about Crime (D)(5): experienced cop gets sick about lawbreakers • Laundromat Business Opportunities (MB)(5): businessman tries to lease underwear • Fight-Picking Guy - Up Your Craw (SK)(5): guy in bar who wants to get in a fight • Post-Apocalypse Poets (KMB)(5): post-apocalypse poets smokes pot and writes songs • Fight-Picking Guy - Hey! (SM)(5): guy in bar who wants to get in a fight • Coal-Shoveler with Angst (BM)(5): coal shoveler questions life

Lesbian & Gay Pride, Waiter With Stumps For Hands, Squealin',... More Gavin: Leaking, Protest, Good to Cry 2, Drag Queens & Leather People, Sounds Skit: - Steps: gay pride day - Stump Hand Waiter: the waiter with stumps for hands - Butt Freak Film Buff: the guy who likes a certain type of movie scene - Gavin at the Police Department: Gavin registers a complaint at the police department - Steps: gay pride day continued - Guy Who Consoles People in Hospital: the guy who consoles crying people in the hospital - Steps: gay pride day continued - Evan the Stereo Salesman: Evan the intense stereo salesman

God is Dead, New Boots, Fast Breakup, Hookers: Porno, Rockey,... More Hookers: Price List, Montreal 2, Dessert Skit: - God is Dead: newsreel footage of the death of God - New Boots: workers with steel-toed boots go to the job - Accelerated-Time Breakup: time accelerates whenever man leaves wife - Whores: new price list - Buddy's Bar: Buddy talks about Montreal - Whores: johns who can't pay - Dipping Areas: a restaurant kitchen discussion about the mousse dipping areas

Hookers: Drum Up Business, How To, Just One Guy, Hookers:... More Rap Music, Por-eef, Jug Head, The Hit Skits: - Whores: drumming up business - Meet Your New Male Slave: Buddy gets a new male slave - Someone Doesn't Like You: man discusses a guy who doesn't like a friend - Whores: rap music - Poreef: Money-Momentum guys sell new product in a grocery store - The Tattoo: man reveals his deep hidden secret - The Hit: man hires hit man to kill himself

Skits: God Is Dead • Stars- Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott... More • Recurring Characters- n/a • In short- Newsreel footage that shows that He existed and that He's dead. Horsey • Stars- Dave, Bruce, Mark, Scott • Recurring Characters- Chicken Lady • In short- The worst mall promotion you'll ever see. Penny • Stars- Dave, Kevin, Mark, Scott • Recurring Characters- Nurse Unloop • In short- The lucky penny ain't so lucky. Convenience Store • Stars- Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott • Recurring Characters- n/a • In short- A review of a worker's worth. Please, Please, Please Roll My Wife Over • Stars- Dave, Kevin, Mark • Recurring Characters- Please Please Please Guy • In short- Do it and he'll give you a toe, but not his toe. How To • Stars- Dave, Kevin, Mark, Scott • Recurring Characters- Buddy Cole • In short- How to keep and care for your new male slave.

End of the Beginning (P)(5): Bellini listens to the radio... More (Paul Bellini) • Armada Grows Old (MBK)(5): Armada sees the future (Armada) • The Sixth Kid (all)(5): Jeff Berman tribute • Buddy's Bar - Closure (S)(5): Buddy closes the bar • On Censorship (KDB)(5): ""recap"" of censored episodes • A.T. Buyout (all)(5): Everyone is fired (Cathy, Kathie, Tanya, Ms. Ferguson, Secretary, A.T. Boss) • Burial (all+P)(5): the boys are buried and Bellini speaks! (Paul Bellini)

Noisy Roommates (DK)(5): man has problems with his "44" noisy... More roommates • Memoirs (SD)(5): husband and wife read "Memoirs" and reminesce • Journey to the Top of the Stairs (KSM)(5): a musical number

Idiot Boy: Assistant, Cops: Interrogation 1, Feelyat, Cops: Interrogation 2,... More Catching Up, Martyr, Cops: Interrogation 4, The Beard Skits: - Idiot Boy at Work: Idiot Boy is causing problems at work - Police Department: 10:00 a.m. Precinct House - Did you kill that guy? - You've Gained Weight: woman with eating disorder discusses weight problems - Police Department: 6:00 p.m. Precinct House - Did you kill that guy? - Feelyat!: bizarre foreign-language game show (& news bulletin) - Brian's Been Arrested: Fran tells how Brian was arrested - Police Department: 11:00 p.m. Precinct House - Did you kill that guy? - The Beard: Man's beard takes over his life

Francesca, Bruno, & the Voiceover Guy (SDM)(5): voiceover guy corrects... More Francesca's grammar (Francesca Fiore, Bruno Puntz Jones) • Sperm Bank I (SMBK)(5): the humanoids rob a sperm bank (Humanoids for Humanism) • The Queen at Tea (DKS)(5): the Queen drops by unexpectedly for tea (The Queen) • Sperm Bank II (MBK)(5): sperm bank continued (Tucker, Armada in stills) • Man of Destiny (D)(5): a busy guy • Sperm Bank III (BM)(5): sperm bank continued (Police Department in still) • Heart Channel (all)(5): a truly bizarre pledge drive (Nena, Murray, Doctor, Nurse Unloop, Terrier) • Sperm Bank IV (-)(5): sperm bank concluded

Band Killer (BKM)(5): Capture of a serial killer (Police Department)... More • Brown Stuff (DS)(5): A.T. & Love boss has a problem (Danny Husk, A.T. & Love Boss) • I'm Late (KB)(5): The perfect couple practices being perfect • Steps* -- AIDS (DKS)(5): Steps guys discuss AIDS (Steps) • Bye Stan* (all+J)(5): Guy wishes everyone a good weekend (Danny Husk, Cathy, Kathie, Ms. Ferguson?) • Bellini Day (BMDP)(5): Aliens celebrate Bellini Day (Paul Bellini, sorta)

Greater Possibilities (DK)(5): Man with submarine for an office •... More Steps Guys at Home (SDK)(5): Butch calls 555-JERK (Steps) • "Living Proof" Press Conference (MKB)(5): Band dies in a bus crash • Big Bucks* (B)(5): Man with a bizarre job gets the big bucks (directed by Bruce)

Wrote the Report Naked (DKS)(5): free spirit writes a report... More (Danny Husk, A.T. & Love Boss, Bingo the Clown) • Don't Shut off My Cable! (SM)(5): Korean War vet doesn't want to lose his cable (Disgusting Old Man) • My Gazebo! (all)(5): woman's gazebo disappears (Police Department) • Scott on Los Angeles (S)(5): a monologue from Scott on a dream he had • Carlo the Scientist (BM)(5): Darryl participates in an experiment (Darryl)

Cyclops (SD)(5): cyclops at a party • The Convenience Store... More Worker (all)(5): A convenience store clerk has his performance reviewed by executives • Hillbilly's Problem (MDSKJ)(5): A hillbilly has some problems after his cow kicks him in the head (Nurse Unloop) • Fran the Italian (SM)(5): Fran feels out of sorts (Fran)

Police Department (BM)(5): 2:16 p.m. Cherry Beach - madness in... More L.A. (Police Department) • Bleeding Ear (KDB)(5): man's ear starts bleeding at dinner • Bikini Inspector (B)(5): man complains about ""Bikini Inspector"" T-shirts • Wedding at Buddy's (SKM)(5): Buddy conducts a marriage ceremony (Buddy) • This Scene Was Written in Haste...* (SDK)(5): a sketch written in haste • Hi-Tech Car Alarm (M)(5): Tucker followed by a car after setting off its alarm (Tucker)

Clothes-Talker (K)(5): man talks to his clothes • Sid &... More Sharisse Wedding (all)(5): Sid & Sharisse get married (Sid, Sharisse, Sid's Friend) • Whores (DSM)(5): film producer (Whores) • Darn Near Puked (BSK)(5): office workers discuss ""gross"" things • Whores (DS)(5): high heels and old boyfriends (Whores) • Scott's Vision (SM)(5): Scott has a vision after reading a list of men who died of AIDS • Again! Again! (SKBM)(5): old man asks women to dance in their underwear

Shoe Shine--He's not stoned; he's just noticing things. • The... More Monkeys--Be afraid. Be very afraid; he might let the monkeys loose. • You Scuzzy Piece of Filth!--He dialed wrong. • Raj and Christine: Temporary Roommates--She contributes; she shoplifted for him. • Husk Musk--The bottled scent of Danny.

The Test-Tube Baby (SD)(5): man complains about being a test-tube... More baby • Kathie & Dry Cleaner (BMSK)(5): Kathie sleeps with dry cleaner (Kathie, Cathy, Tanya, Secretary, Bigot Cabbie) • Whores (DSK)(5): first timer (Whores, Rudy) • Starving Street Singers (BKM)(5): street singers look for food (Street Singers) • Communist Threat (DK)(5): man talks about the communist threat • Whores (SK)(5): Maudre pretends to be Rudy's wife (Maudre, Rudy) • Man's Girlfriend's Jobs (all)(5): man who wants girlfriends with various jobs

Lick Town Clean (DK)(5): residents must lick the town clean... More • Agents in the Bar (SMK)(5): the Sudelmans in the bar order drinks after last call (Sudelmans) • The Lovers 3* (DM)(5): the lovers talk about their love (directed by Mark) • Noisy Kid (MBKD)(5): man in line complains about a yakky kid • Dave/Elk (DS)(5): comparison of Dave and an elk [Scott narrates] • Humpback Gays (BS)(5): gay pair discusses one guy's hump (Butchie?) • The Lovers 4* (DM)(5): the lovers talk about their love (directed by Mark) • My Training* (BKM)(5): man who participates in competitive bathtub-soaking